Second Enstallment

While I’m waiting for feedback on my first book, I am trying to start on my second. I have literally had 5 different intros and I’m not stoked about any of them. Of course, this is a continuation of the first one and I don’t want to start it immediately after the first one. The time elapsed is proving quite tricky. First I had like a year, then a week later, then two months later and now I’m on one month. And trying to decide what Sydona is doing in the first page or two is really frustrating. Having this in third person-limited is kinda biting me in the ass now. I want so badly to show what other characters are doing or how they react to what SHE does, but I can’t!

Maybe it’s telling me that I need to like my MC more lol (Trust me, I like her much more now than I did in the beginning.) Trying to decide what she will do or say all the time is hard because she is nothing like myself. And that can be a good thing, but also very complicated.

Right now I am contemplating on having her attempt suicide after a series of traumatic events happening all at once. I think any normal person would get pretty depressed after what she went through. Weighing the options of if she would actually go that far as to try it though, is challenging. Guess I’ll just brainstorm some more. Ugggg.. help me out here guys… ##

Waiting

Hello all! The waiting game is so tedious… Sending out my unfinished work, having people read it and then waiting for the feedback. I would rather have my feet nibbled off by gerbils. I have already gotten some feedback, though! Some good, some not so good, but that’s how it is. It’s so hard to satisfy everyone. One person only got to the second page and stopped reading. She said I needed to change the beginning of it completely, and then she might reconsider trying to keep reading it. I laughed — super hard. The new intro I have it by far the best one I’ve had since I started this whole thing. And then, she couldn’t even read the entire chapter! Plus, she couldn’t even tell me what exactly I needed to change.

It’s funny, cause other people that have read it said they loved it. So.. I hate to sound like I’m brushing off criticism, but when you can’t even read the entire chapter, I can’t take you seriously. Some advice, I guess, if you want to be a beta reader in the future.

In other news…

My AMA is going pretty great so far! It’s not live until the 30th, but I’ve had like 15 questions so far! And GOOD questions! Some people even went to my links to look into me and my story further! I haven’t felt this happy in a long time! The time to finally edit and publish my book is getting closer and closer. The waiting game is seriously gonna kill me… ##

Better, right?

Terrible writing example from last blog:

She opened her eyes to see painted clouds on a blue ceiling. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. She was in her old bedroom from when she was a girl. Everything seemed so slow, like it was playing a memory in slow motion. She slid off the small bed that she questioned on how she even fit on it. She looked down at her feet and she’s wearing her black dressy shoes that she wore when her family went to fancy places. She also had on her black frilly dress that she remembers she wore once when the dog they had died and they had a funeral in the backyard for him.

Re-write:

As she opened her eyes, the blue sky turned into painted white clouds on a blue ceiling. Rubbing her eyes, unsure of how the sky changed, she realized she was back in her bedroom from when she was little girl. As she glanced around the room, her vision was off, and everything she looked at was a few seconds behind. Everything was in slow motion, and it made her feel dizzy. Sliding off the side of a small colorful twin bed, she looked down at her feet to see shiny black shoes. The only time she ever wore these shoes was when her family would go to fancy places. She also had on her black frilly dress that she wore once when the family dog died and they had a funeral in the backyard for him.

Much better, right? ##

Bad, Laura..

She opened her eyes to see painted clouds on a blue ceiling. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. She was in her old bedroom from when she was a girl. Everything seemed so slow, like it was playing a memory in slow motion. She slid off the small bed that she questioned on how she even fit on it. She looked down at her feet and she’s wearing her black dressy shoes that she wore when her family went to fancy places. She also had on her black frilly dress that she remembers she wore once when the dog they had died and they had a funeral in the backyard for him.

7 Sentences; 6 of them begin with ‘She’.

AAAARRRGGG!!

This is the kind of mindless editing that I’m doing for my entire 60k+ word book. Granted, I think I was more aware of this later on in the story, but MY GOD. Some might just say I’m being nit-picky or obsessive, but this bothers me more than anything else. I know my tenses are really bad too, but this is right up there with it. It just baffles me how I wrote this X-amount of time ago, and just from editing, I see this and think a 5th grader wrote it. Anyways, just be comforted of the idea that the final re-write will not contain things like this. Thankfully. ##

Omit.

Hello! Okay, I decided to start writing again. It’s so hard to put away sometimes. For those of you who have read Fliers, at least half way through, you might remember the B&B, with Lana and stuff. Harold shows up out of no where and kills her, for.. some reason… but, be confused NO MORE!

I deleted that whole thing! Yep. It’s gone. It was in the original draft, (you know from 8 years ago) but after editing everything, I decided how much I hated that part. It just didn’t make sense. Lana looking like her mothers clone, the fact they were okay with staying at a hotel or whatever, even though they are trying to stay low. And Harold showing up and threatening Lana with a gun to her head so Gia won’t shoot him. And then killing Lana, being something significant for Syd, but really, it was just filler.

So, I have gotten rid of all of that and have replaced it with them staying in a tent that, ta-da, Willow was already carrying! I dunno why I had them stay in a house/hotel thing when Willow was already prepared for them to sleep in tents so they DIDN’T have to sleep at a hotel. Fliers are wanted now, and why would they risk going to sleep somewhere where they might get captured? Besides the train thing, but it was the fastest way of transportation. I will back that part up. But the BnB thing, no.

I will introduce Silas into the story sooner and in a different way. Might help the tiny love story that’s in here too. Does he save her life? Who knows! 🙂 Oh, because they are attacked by a Grizzly and Sydona is a little out of her element. Silas to the rescue! I know, sounds cliche, but what are ya gonna do? ##

Car Accident Cont…

So I re-wrote it. I swear, I’m like a different person now. Some of the things I look back and read, I’m like… “wow.. this is embarrassing..”  Thankful now that I know more and can correct those mistakes. A lot of mistakes.. like, almost chapters worth.

Anyway, I am pretty proud of what I set up. It’s more clear, more impactful (I think), slowed down, because I guess I have a tendency to write out scenes too quickly. I guess it’s because when I am just writing or typing, things just flow out of me. I need to get it out of my head, and when I do this, it’s rushed and filled with grammar mistakes. I’m so grateful for Beta readers. I can’t say this enough. So I’m sorry if you see me mention this in like every blog. The scene no longer has them hitting a deer in the road, because the size of the car compared to the animal.. would not add up correctly. So, now I have them skidding out of the way and then hit a barrier, then roll down a hill. Not a huge hill, just like.. 30 feet down at an angle. No cliffs or anything. ..Although, that could really spice things… no.. I’m getting off track. They would probably all die, and that’s would really screw shit up..

So now that that whole thing is redone, the next section (when they go on the train, and then to an Inn) has to change dramatically as well. I will keep you updated with all the vague details of a amateur novel that isn’t even published yet, and make sure not to spoil anything good, cause well… Spoilers. 🙂 ##

Car Accident

So I am at a part where my characters have been involved in a car accident. The way I originally had this written was that Gia basically pulls the car off of Sydona. Biggest problem with this, is that my book is a Third-person limited, and we should not be in the view point of the secondary character. Also, they do not have super strength anymore (I’m almost embarrassed to say it was in there to begin with.)

This entire scene is about 3-4 pages long and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to completely re-do it. I’m almost willing as to say that I need to BE in this car accident, in order to capture it realistically.  Granted, this is a fantasy fiction story, but in no universe would the person in the back seat be hurt worse than the two people in front, involving a head on collision with a deer. I’ll admit that I haven’t been in many accidents, but the ONE I have been in, I can tell you, the airbags were the worst part. I only knew this from my friend who was really hurt from one. I was in the back and didn’t get a single scratch. I think a tiny bit of whiplash and a headache. But nothing that put my life or limb in danger.

I’m super bummed that I have to re-write this entire thing, but.. I guess it’s for the greater good of the story or whatever. Blah Blah Blah. ##