As you can see, I have “changed” my name. Laura Mae will most likely be the name I put for my works. Marshall is a little… blah.. and doesn’t really stick out. Mae is my actual middle name and the two sound better together and flow better, I think. Also, my website named changed because just lauramae was unavailable… So I put author after it 🙂 I was okay with that! ##
I had an interesting dream last night. But one interesting but weird thing I took away from it was an interaction I had with a man, talking about grapes. Yes, in my dream I was at a grocery store, and grabbed a $30.00 bag of grapes. (Dreams are weird…) anyway, I eat the grapes throughout the store, because I had to try them but I did not want to actually buy them. The price was insane. So I eat them, and randomly hand them out to other people so they could try the expensive grapes too.
I came across this man who claimed that grapes were male and female. He explained it like, when the stem comes off when you take it off the vine, it’s a female. If the stem doesn’t come off, it’s a male. And he used both of them as an example, by placing the stem inside the other grape with no stem. (Lol this killed me)
I told him it was just physics and some stems come off and some don’t. But I loved his theory much more. So that’s my dream. Oh yeah, and throughout the entire dream, I was also Batman. ##
Just wanted to send out a quick Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! One thing I am very thankful for is your support! This is not something I could have dreamed of that I would be doing, 5 years ago. And it really helps me keeps me going to know you are all in support of what I am doing! My book may not be ready yet, but it is well on it’s way and I’m so thankful that you are behind me and waiting for the finished product! I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday and eats a ton of food! ##
Hello. This isn’t going to be anything from my book. Just me. Sometimes I feel like I can’t talk to anyone who knows what I’m going through. I am part of several writing groups online and try to seek out advice from them, but it doesn’t really help at all. And this could just be a side-effect of a pill I started taking, but who the hell knows.
I am finding myself, depressed, angry, annoyed, pissed off at so many things lately. I don’t know if it’s part of my writing, or my pills, or what. At work, I feel so sluggish, and unenergetic, to the point where I want to just leave, but I can’t do that. I like the people I work with and couldn’t just walk away. Plus, I’m an adult and have no plan B. I am hoping I will get over this emotional crap soon. I feel it’s taking a toll on those around me. I just want my book to be published and done with. And I’m not even done editing it all. Still have to publish it and market the crap out of it.
This is in no way a cry for help or attention. I just wanted to let whoever reads this know what’s been going on with me, and let you know my struggles. I hope this 9 year project is worth it and at least one person cares about it as much as I do. Thanks for reading. ##
Excerpt from Chapter 15:
A guard yelled a few tents down from their own. “Peterson! We got another one!”
The conversation stopped, not realizing how close the guards were. Sydona’s heart sped up at the thought of them catching Raoul in the tent with them. They sat silently as they tried to decipher what he was yelling about.
“Uh, Lydia Garrison.”
“How’d it happen?”
“Looks like it was a plastic knife, up her wrists.”
“How long was she here for?”
“I don’t know. Couple years, maybe? Does it matter?”
“Yes, Dr. Malik needs to keep track.”
“She makes three this month. Fucking useless–.”
“Hey. Not here.”
The guards faded off.
Sydona couldn’t help but peek out the opening in the tent entrance. And she wasn’t alone, as she looked around, others were also looking out, seeing who the victim was. The guards exited tent 46, carrying a body with the blanket covering up most of her. Lydia’s arms were hanging lifeless outwards, covered in blood, and skin was white as snow. The blanket didn’t conceal much, and Sydona caught a glimpse of her face. She was pretty, and young, maybe in her twenties.
“Back in your tents!” the head guard shouted, carrying her feet.
Sydona did as she was told and went back inside with a heavy heart. The morning started off so nice, for once, and now it had a cloud hanging over. She returned to her cot, with a sullen face.
“How’s she do it? With a plastic knife? Idiot. Now they’re gonna take them away from us,” Maverick scoffed, without a trace of empathy in his voice.
“How can you say that? A woman just died…,” Sydona whispered angrily.
“The last time someone killed themselves that way, they feed us liquid crap for months. Sometimes don’t even give us spoons! Selfish–” Maverick grumbled.
“Selfish? You are a heartless–”
“Look. When you have been here as long as I have, you see a lot of death. Fliers are killing themselves all the time. This isn’t anything new. And she’s selfish because when she dies, they go out and find someone to replace her. Putting us more at risk. People need to learn to be more positive.”
Sydona sat flabbergasted at Maverick, Raoul the same.
“Don’t look at me that way,” Maverick started. “You think I’m heartless. I’m realistic. I’ve stayed around this long so they don’t bring new people in. I can’t comment on why they brought you here and others as of late. But I know for a fact, every time someone commits suicide, someone else has to take their place.” ##
His NEW introduction…
“Just then the door creaked open and Raoul disappeared from sight in a flash. In walked a man in an expensive looking navy blue suit, with a red striped tie and slicked back, shiny black hair. “I am so sorry about this,” he said with a Mideastern accent. “Hey, Frank! Get these restraints off her. What are you doing?”
Frank came through the door and put his assault rifle behind his back. He undid her restraints as quick as he could, then left the room without a single word.
“Miss. Please allow me to apologize. This is not how we normally operate here,” he shook his head and pulled up a rolling chair near Sydona. He examined her wrists with his hands, that were very well manicured. Unlike her own. He glanced up at her and then smiled.
“I’m sorry. Please let me introduce myself. My name is Dr. John Malik. Welcome to Eagle Lake!”
Sydona was at a complete loss of how to react. This was the man she wanted to stop. His entire vibe was pleasant and welcoming. Thinking back to the article, he was genuinely excited about this whole thing. Her guard was still up and wasn’t letting this act fool her.
“Oh, and let me also apologize for the act at the front gate. That is uh–new. We have had some run in’s with groups that don’t exactly agree with what we’re doing here. It’s just a precaution, but I promise you, it has no long term effects on you. Just puts you to sleep for a little bit,” he explained with well articulated speech and constant eye contact.
“Where are my friends?” Sydona spoke while hardly moving her lips.
“Oh, the man and teenager with you? You knew each other? Fascinating… Oh, but they’re fine. Already settled in, I imagine,” he smiled.
“What’s with the metal bracelet?” she asked, sitting more upright.
“Those silly old things. Another precaution. Just lets us keep track of who is who,” he answered.
Sydona narrowed her eyes at his calm answer. If it’s just a tracking device, why did it shock her when Raoul messed with it?
“Am I a prisoner here?” her jaw tightened.
He laughed, pretentiously. “Oh heavens no! –Please don’t think of this place as a prison. Think of it as– a temporary vacation while you help the scientific community. What we are doing here is beyond anything you can imagine! The fact that you are here speaks volumes about the contribution you can make with us.”
Contribution, she thought to herself. What was that supposed to mean? Sydona decided to stop asking questions because she couldn’t tell what was real and what he was making up. She just knew she needed to find her friends and figure out their next plan.
After a few silent minutes, the doctor spoke up. “Well, I can see you’re still in shock. I am very sorry about that, again,” he stood up and placed the chair back where he found it. “If you need anything. Anything at all, please let me know. It was very nice meeting you, Sydona,” he smiled and left the room.”
Terrible writing example from last blog:
She opened her eyes to see painted clouds on a blue ceiling. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. She was in her old bedroom from when she was a girl. Everything seemed so slow, like it was playing a memory in slow motion. She slid off the small bed that she questioned on how she even fit on it. She looked down at her feet and she’s wearing her black dressy shoes that she wore when her family went to fancy places. She also had on her black frilly dress that she remembers she wore once when the dog they had died and they had a funeral in the backyard for him.
As she opened her eyes, the blue sky turned into painted white clouds on a blue ceiling. Rubbing her eyes, unsure of how the sky changed, she realized she was back in her bedroom from when she was little girl. As she glanced around the room, her vision was off, and everything she looked at was a few seconds behind. Everything was in slow motion, and it made her feel dizzy. Sliding off the side of a small colorful twin bed, she looked down at her feet to see shiny black shoes. The only time she ever wore these shoes was when her family would go to fancy places. She also had on her black frilly dress that she wore once when the family dog died and they had a funeral in the backyard for him.
Much better, right? ##